It Can Only Get Better

Let the sun refuse to shine
It won't be long before the days are brighter
If every step's an uphill climb
Carry on until they feel much lighter
For all the clouds up in the sky
For all the teardrops in our eyes

It can only get better
Be still my heart
It can only get better
We've come this far
It can only get better
I know it hurts 
For what it's worth
It can only get better

***

Today I feel worried for something I decided, and somehow I feel like I won't be the same as before. My mom said, "It's all what you want, it's all what you decided, so take the risk." I know what I decided is a really good one, but we all, humans, we are often so afraid of change. For example, when we are walking down the street, then come to a construction site and we need to change our path. By scanning around the area we should be able to find a detour and follow it to get where we want to go. Because we've taken the normal path before, we don't worry that it'll take us where we want to go. But when we run into a roadblock, suddenly information we trusted has broken down. We start to worry, where does the other road lead? How long will it take? Is it dangerous? What we don't know tends to scare us, and change creates a lot of things we don't know. Like what I feel this day.

The day after tomorrow, I will start my day as a santri at Daarut Tauhiid. I'll study more about my religion, Islam. I want to get closer to Him and this is the way I take. There will no more my mom, dad or my sister beside me. I wonder, how will I live my life there? What will I eat? Haha or who will be my roommates? What kind of person is she? This thing is really give me a lot of stress. Then I bump into my friend's blog, and it is what she write on her blog:

"When circumstances getting bad, and I feel my world crumbles, I start to worry too. Too often I don't trust Him as the pilot of my life. Too often I doubt the captain. He says don't worry, but I got scared. He says everything will be okay, but I still have a second guess. He is the pilot. He knows the field. Trust Him."

"I know He is Someone who never watches from outside the ring. He is here, inside my battlefield. Taking the pain I take, feeling the sore I feel. Telling me which move I should take. And knowing this makes me better. Because I know I’m not alone. Because I know I’m not struggling by myself. Because I know I have a God that never loses a battle. Not a single one."

Yah, She is rite. I'm not struggling by myself. I trust Him. I trust Allah will always beside me.
Laa haula walla quata illa billah.. Bismillah..

Which way will you take?